It’s not anyone’s responsibility, other than the person themself, to deal with their emotions.
Not for your friend, not for your coworker, not for your spouse, and not for your children.
By that I mean….It’s not your job to calm someone down when angry, to take away or bear someone’s pain when they are struggling, or to make an unreasonable person reasonable.
You can teach them coping skills in a neutral space at a neutral time…
You can offer them tools to find their way it… Something they can read, a talk they can listen to, or suggest a practice like meditation.
If you are doing someone’s emotional work for them, you are robbing them of the gifts they receive through their own transformation.
Just because you can… Doesn’t mean you should.
It is not a badge of honor to be responsible for someone else’s emotions.
It is not a badge of honor to bear someone else’s pain while they live fancy free.
It is not a badge of honor to rip up your heart just to protect theirs.
It is a burden. It might make you feel important at first.
Eventually you become the scapegoat and you are always to blame when they don’t feel happy…
These people don’t learn how to be happy if you are always doing the work for them. They don’t grow up emotionally.
And you become “the jerk” because you can’t fix their deep unhappiness for them.
It’s a losing battle.
For both of you.
You have to allow others to deal with their own emotions.