I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about love.
I mentioned to him how there were so many times I remember “liking” my boyfriend a whole lot more after we broke up than when we were a “couple”.
It’s one of those things I feel guilty about because it’s so backwards to how it’s supposed to be.
I was so relieved when he answered with a “me too!”
“Me too” makes everything feel better doesn’t it? It’s so healing to know you aren’t the only one. Alchoholics anonymous is really on to something there 😉
It seemed there was something about being exclusive that changed the dynamic of the relationship.
Exclusivity brought about dependency, co-dependency, jealousy, control, constriction, restriction, rules, and all of the crazies with it.
We would break up and all of that would all disappear and I would think, “hey I genuinely like you as a person”.
My mom is subscribed to Stacy Westfalls email list and she forwarded me an email from her the other day.
For those of you who don’t know, Stacy rode “Roxy” bareback and bridle-less in the freestyle reining at The Congress in 2009… the video has since gone viral because it’s nothing short of absolutely breathtaking.
In the email Stacy said this:
“It took me years, decades even, of developing my skills to the point where I understood:
- A well trained horse is in physical and mental balance.
- A well trained rider is in physical and mental balance.
When these statements are both true and you watch a horse and rider…you are watching self carriage. I would argue that the horse and the rider are both fully required to be in self carriage for them to blend into each other and become extensions of one another.”
Self carriage.
I love this.
I literally can’t even begin to describe how much I love this.
This does not only apply to horse and rider, a healthy relationship is a healthy relationship whether it’s between 2 animals, an animal and a human, or 2 humans.
“Self carriage is required for them to blend into each other and become extensions of one another.”
1000 times yes!
Maybe it’s because I grew up on the back of a horse, but this is the kind of relationship my soul is begging me to find.
This is the kind of relationships we all need to have.
I encourage you to watch the video of Stacy and Roxy, even if you are not a horse person, and watch them together. (Click here)
It is the most beautiful relationship I have ever been witness to, and now Stacy has given me the words to define it.
I genuinely hope you can find this in your relationships, this is how they are meant to be.