I remember going for a walk one day and realizing I was going to have to play a card I had never intended on playing. Those were literally the words I had going through my head.
Ive learned that some changes are easy to make. The changes you seek where you can clearly see how the outcome will be affected, or the times you are bored and need new stimulation. The places where you want to improve or learn more all bring about easy change, it’s like buying a new outfit or new shoes.
I’ve also learned that some changes are hard to make. These kind where your life has cajoled you into a spot where there is so much pain you can’t possibly remain the same person.
Health issues force you to change your lifestyle, personality conflicts force you to build your character, financial issues force you to change your spending habits, and death forces you to at best revisit your priorities, and at worst completely change your trajectory. These ones are changing your worldview and who you are…like a chrysalis turning into a butterfly.
The hardest part of being forced through change is our fears about what will or has been lost.
But if we learn from the changes we wish to make and apply it to the changes we are forced to make, it can help ease the pain of playing that one card you intended to keep, and instead look at who you will become.
Remove the fear of loss by looking for the positives. This means you have to force yourself to stop and think like you have asked for this change.
If you answer these questions, it will help to change your focus, and allow you to feel better.
Feeling better is the end game, it is all you can control
What will this change bring you that you never had before?
What will it clear out that you will bring you relief from the way things were?
What or who can help fill the space where I will fill the most loss?
What is the first step I can take to move forward?
If you trust that change is necessary, and that it brings growth you will become the butterfly.
“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.” -Mahatma Ghandi