It was hard to figure out what was ‘my stuff’ or someone else’s ‘stuff’ to deal with.
My emotional triggers were so near the surface, and I didn’t understand feeling ok enough, so conversations would begin to escalate and I would get fully invested.
Name calling or words like selfish, cold, and angry would get thrown out.
Once I healed the majority of surface wounds, I wasn’t so easily drawn in to someone else’s drama.
I could see others more clearly.
I would become aware of someone else’s foul mood before I got sucked into it.
As I started to sort all of this out, I realized there were times I was selfish, and manipulative, but that wasn’t who I really was at my core. When I felt myself going down those paths it was because there was something wrong I needed to stop avoiding.
Usually I was doing something that was a betrayal to my heart or feelings.
Sometimes I was focused too much on myself and becoming the victim.
Lots of the times I was allowing someone else to walk all over me and needed to set boundaries.
Occasionally it was because I just needed to eat some carbs.
The more vulnerable I allowed myself to be, the more I could address the real issues going on inside.
Vulnerability is so hard for me…but that’s another story.