Letting people see our insecurities and vulnerabilities allows them to care for us.
I didn’t know that before.
I didn’t want to dump my emotional baggage or be a downer, so I kept everything suppressed and shut down. I didn’t allow myself to be seen.
There is a difference between dumping your emotional baggage on someone else, and opening up your heart and letting someone see inside.. one is a burden, the other is a gift.
When you are dumping your baggage you blame others, make accusations, condemn, react, and did I say blame?
When you share your insecurities and vulnerabilities you need to think about what feelings are driving the blame. Most often it’s a fear of something. Sharing those feelings a gift to someone else because it brings understanding.
You might not realize how much it hurts your relationships to not be vulnerable. It’s important to let others be your friend. When you don’t it creates a weird, one sided dynamic and pushes people away.
Equal relationships go both ways. In order to have meaningful connections being open brings connection, otherwise you leave the other person wondering why they can’t reach you.
The only exception is in relationships where you have a much higher status, especially a leadership role. It is still important to be transparent, but it needs to be done carefully so that you aren’t putting fear into others who don’t have the means to solve the problems.
Being seen requires you to open your heart and show the good, bad, and the ugly (it’s never ugly to the other person, it only feels ugly to us).
That’s where all levels of love are found.