I was a terrible judge of character. I literally had no idea how to tell a good person from a bad one. I just believed everyone had some good in them.
As I started showing up in the world I decided this was something I needed to figure out. I had been burnt badly enough that I didn’t want to fall into the grasps of the bad guys anymore.
I read books on psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists and I read up on personality disorders. One day I had a customer sit in my office who was arrogant and vulgar and I was genuinely appalled by his behaviour. This was the first time I was able to see others for who they were, in the past I always felt like I was to blame somehow for the way others behaved.
Once I started being able to pick out the worst behaviours with some consistency I started digging into what makes a good person. This is not as easy of a subject to pick up a book and read about. There are no “good guy” books.
Being a good guy isn’t about good manners and charisma, it’s about caring about others and doing no harm.
I learned about keeping promises, contribution, generosity and thoughtfulness. I learned about empathy, compassion, humility and I learned a lot about listening to what your heart says.
These characteristics are the foundation of “good guys”, and they don’t compromise on them. Some may polish off the edges with chivalry and others may find creative outlets.
The good guys always search for a way that everyone can win because the good guys always care.