I believed I was really good at “loving” someone.
I would put their happiness first, I would make sacrifices for them, I would care for them, emotionally support them, cheer them on, and I would be epically patient and understanding with them no matter what.
This was my definition of how to love someone.
I knew I had a big heart, and I believed my heart could weather all of the storms.
So I put it through hell.
I made choices and put myself in situations and told the universe my heart didn’t matter because it was big and strong and it could handle anything,
I didn’t honour what was in my heart. I didn’t listen to my heart, I didn’t speak from my heart, and I didn’t apply any of that “really good love” to myself.
I didn’t let anyone else have that job either because that was a bit too vulnerable, and my heart was big and strong.
One day I noticed a physical pain in my heart.
At first it was a little jab here and there and I didn’t pay much attention.
But over the months it grew into a continuous ache that I couldn’t ignore anymore.
I remember thinking one day, “I have a really good heart, why am I not looking after it?”
That was the day I started making better choices, I started allowing myself to be loved, and I really started listening to what my heart wanted and was trying to tell me.
I started to live life with my whole heart, instead of only using half of it.
The pain went away when I started listening to my heart and stopped trying to figure everything out in my head.
It certainly hasn’t always been easy, and there has been a lot of change in me to get there.
It’s a journey, but it’s the one that will lead you to the life you dream of.
When it comes to you, are you listening to what your heart wants?
PS. If you have a big strong heart but don’t know how to follow it, sign up for my private email list below. I’m building a course that teaches how to live whole-heartedly and I’ll drop you a line as more details become available.