Nobody does anything “just because”. There is always a personal payoff for the choices.
Sometimes the payoff is serving us and making us better but sometimes it’s toxic and unhealthy. This creates all sorts of other consequences like feeling shame, and playing small in our lives.
The problem is we aren’t honest with ourselves about the payoff… especially when we aren’t proud of our reasons and we are hiding from the shame.
For example: maybe someone is religious or following a religion because that’s what they’ve been told is the right thing to do. “The right thing to do” is not a payoff.
So what could their payoff be?
Maybe they use it as a way to hide from the world. “If I go to church I’m doing enough already.”
Maybe they use it to feel a sense of superiority over others. “I am better than someone else because ‘at least’ I go to church on Sunday’s”.
We just have to come to terms with our payoff. Then we can decide if it’s something we want to continue to do for a payoff we actually want.
Church can give you a place to belong, a way to contribute to society, a network of friends, and a time for your spiritual connection. Any of those reasons can be your payoff, but then you have to let go of the rest.
Church isn’t the only example. Parenting, working, partying, shopping, isolating, standing up for a cause you believe in, or hiding from society are other examples.
No matter what you are choosing, you are choosing it because of the payoff. The more consciously you choose the payoff, the more in alignment you will be, and the more you will stand in your power.