I remember a long time ago hearing Reba McEntire saying that as she rose to fame she was accused of treating people differently.
I don’t think this is at all uncommon – it was just the first time I really became aware of how our status with communities and peer groups works.
I remember thinking of course she would have to treat people differently because people would be treating her differently AND she couldn’t possibly be the same person or she wouldn’t be getting different results in her life – results like like fame and fortune.
I think Jim Rohn was the first to say “you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most amount of time with”.
I have been watching and I would say there is merit to his words, which makes achieving any change or a new level in any area of life extra hard.
What personal changes you would have to make if you became a winner in an area you aren’t winning in life?
What structure would you have to impose? What commitments would you have to make to yourself and to others?
Have you considered how your people might react if you chose your happiness instead of theirs? What if you made them responsible for their own happiness?
Our fears of not belonging are ever present.
You will be mocked or extricated for not fitting in the social mold the same way you used to.
Drinkers want you to drink with them.
Do it anyway.
Foodies want you to eat with them.
Netflix bingers want you to binge with them.
When you change, your people have to change too in order to remain connected… and some people don’t want to change.
And that’s ok.
It takes a lot of clarity and self discipline about why you are doing what you are doing to move ahead regardless of what other people want you to do.
In the end you find which people support you and love you for all that you are, and which people you were a crutch for.
The people that stay with you are your people.
“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” – Edmond Lee