Sometimes emotional pain takes hold of us so strongly that we slip into periods of depression and isolation or we shut down and operate in survival mode trying to carry on with life because we have no other choice.

A few years ago I had the realization that when you walk into your pain, whatever it’s from, and stay with it, it dissipates. It was such a surprise to me because I had spent so many years running from pain, and hiding pain, or being “emotionally strong”.

When you walk into love, it grows. Until then I hadn’t realized that different feelings follow different energetic rules, but they do.

The emotions that feel good, that are high are the map of consciousness, are the ones we need to lean into and towards. When you choose these emotions on purpose they bring their friends, the other good feelers, to the party. At which point I usually become overwhelmed and cry.

The emotions that feel bad, and are low on the map of consciousness, are there to give us guidance. They tell us that we have an open wound, a toxic thought pattern, or an unhealthy attachment. They are almost always rooted in fear. When you choose to ignore, hide, or lean towards these bad feelings, they also bring their friends to the party, which creates a downward spiral of darkness.

Here’s the thing I learned. The bad feeling emotions have a very large purpose. They feel bad for a reason. We are not supposed to like them, or enjoy them. They bring us suffering, and illness, and pain. They put pressure on us to make a different choice.

Some people dull them with medication, or drugs or alcohol. They are completely missing the gift that comes with them.

We need to walk towards those bad feelings, dig into them, find out why they are there and what they are trying to teach us. If you stay with those feelings, ask hard questions, search for the root fear until you find the answer, then you can let it go. If you dull them, you lose the guidance and the next time the pain has a new layer added and brings more friends to the party.

Let yourself be changed by emotional pain. That’s what it’s intended for, that’s the gift it brings.

The person you will find on the other side, when you allow yourself to be changed, is full of all the good feeling emotions at the top of the map of consciousness. That’s where the world has more colour, the light inside you is brighter, and there is beauty all around you, and that’s the ultimate goal for all of us.


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