In David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech to the Kenyon college class of 2005 (its remarkable and deeemed to be one of the best ever) he starts by telling a story about two young fish swimming along and how they happen to meet an older fish who nods at them and says, “morning boys, hows the water?” The two young fish swim in for a bit and eventually one of them looks at the other one and says, “what the hell is water?”
He goes on to say, “the point of the fish story is that the most obvious and important realities are the ones that are often hardest to see and talk about.”
Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada.
I’ve been contemplating for a few days about what I might write today.
As I meandered through the different Thanksgiving topic choices I reminisced.
I thought about when I was young and how I felt when I said thank you…at times just saying it because I was taught to instead of truly grasping the concept behind the word. Other times I was delighted when I got a treat like bubble gum from the secret stash of the farm hand, or when I received a much wished for gift under the Christmas tree.
As I grew into my teenage years I remember moments where I started to understand being thankful. I was a lucky girl who had the privilege of growing up on the back of a horse… and not just any horse. Never a day went by that I wasn’t thankful for Mr. Starpasser and all of the people and opportunity he brought into my life.
As I grew through my adult years I started to understand the importance of being grateful. Gratitude became a practice for me to calm my ego when I wanted more and learn to look around at what I already had been blessed with. Gratitude was the magic pill that always turned what I had into enough.
The last few years I have really learned the value of appreciation. Appreciation feels like the master class of gratitude to me. It’s not just being grateful for what you have in life, but having a genuine appreciation for life and all of its peaks, valleys and idiosyncracies.
So as I was trying to determine what to write about today, I thought maybe I could talk about appreciation.
I could try to put into words the way it feels to say, “I’m grateful for the life I have”, and the all encompassing love that comes from saying, “I appreciate the life I’ve been given.”
I could try to explain how it feels to be grateful for the people, the relationships, the experiences, and all of the things you have … but to take it one step further means to appreciate the people, relationships, experiences for who they are and what they represent, with no strings attached to you… even when they appear to belong to you.
And while I think that is a beautiful message and important message to share…I didn’t want to leave out the part that speaks to the hurt and struggle the world is in as people like us struggle with loss from forest fires, hurricanes, and shootings.
I didn’t want to pretend that other people like us aren’t feeling lonely, disconnected, depressed and isolated even in the company of those they love or in pursuit of their dreams.
I didn’t want to ignore the fact that sometimes when the phone rings we get a knot in our stomach from what we hear on the other end.
Because today and everyday that is a reality of life.
Finding the silver lining is almost impossible, but as we have been witness to, along with great struggle there are always blessings to follow.
So I encourage you, while suffering from an aching heart about whatever your struggle is right now, to find a way to also see the beauty.
To appreciate life and see not only the mess but also the blessings… for they each hold their own gift.
To look for a way to give someone else whatever you feel is lacking in your life, whether it be connection, belonging, or love… and to contribute your gift to the world in a way that makes a difference to someone else.
To try to always stay aware of the most obvious and important realities.
“It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:
This is water. This is water”
– David Foster Wallace, Commencement speech to Kenyon College Class of 2005.
Happy Thanksgiving❤️