“Horse whispering” wasn’t a thing in my circles growing up.
When I left home it was the path mom took quite accidentally on purpose. After 20 years or so she is an expert whisperer. She doesn’t know it yet… but that’s another story.
This kind of horse whispering happens with the human on the ground and we call it groundwork. There are no halters or lead lines, the horse is free.
Over the years I have picked up a few techniques here and there while watching and listening to mom. That combined with my other horse skills gives me just enough information to be very dangerous.
Yesterday I went to play with Dream and practice some groundwork. I knew what I wanted to achieve, but not having enough ground skills to achieve it I had everyone confused. Me, the horse and even mom mentioned rather loudly she had no idea what I was trying to do.
Mom showed me I needed to hustle, make quick decisions and then soften to the results I was getting with Dream.
I was missing the hustle, and I had traded softness for demand… this isn’t uncommon for me in life.
My biggest parenting fails have come from trading softness for demand.
Demanding respect, demanding they do things my way, and demanding they do what I say.
There is a nice way, and a soft way to achieve what we want. Where you help others understand by gently reminding them what you’re asking for. Where you hustle to make a course correction, but do so encouragingly and lovingly. Where you understand there is confusion on the other side, and you may have created it.
Where you rememeber and respect their heart and their life in your quest.
Like my friend said over coffee this weekend, we have to put the relationship first no matter what.
This is what I need to remember.
Another great lesson from Dream.