About 2 months ago I was wallowing in a hole of self pity.
I went to a yoga class and snot bubbling ugly cried my way through the whole thing.
I could whine about 5-10 good reasons for my pity party, and my poor mom had to hear them all, bless her heart, but none of them matter because they weren’t the problem.
Yes there was lots going on that wasn’t favourable for me.
Yes I wanted things to be different.
Yes I thought I “deserved” something different than I was getting (any type of “deserving” thinking is a big trap for spiralling down… I don’t recommend ever going there).
And on and on…
Everything that was happening wasn’t the problem. The problem was I thought everything happening around me, was about me, and I was focusing on that, making it about me with my inner dialogue.
After a couple of weeks suffering, I read the quote from Tony Robbins “the reason you’re suffering is you’re focused on yourself” and wrote about it in this blog post.
None of what was happening was about me, except for the part I was making about me.
As soon as I quit making it about me, I quit suffering.
In an instant it changed how I felt, and ever since then if I catch myself going down the same road, I remember not to focus on myself and redirect my thoughts.
The more I have paid attention to this over the last 6 weeks, the more I am seeing how we all create and magnify our own insecurities, shame, grief, anger, self doubt, and sadness by making external situations about ourselves.
Whatever is happening around you is not about you.
Sometimes it’s just life.
Sometimes it’s about the other person making it about them, and then projecting that onto you.
Sometimes it’s none of your concern at all.
What happens inside of you is about you, but that’s another story.