“Treat others how you would like to be treated”.
This cliche messed me up. I used it as a rule for life.
I would make relationships more about me than about the other person, because I was treating them how I wanted to be treated. I was putting the whole focus on myself and how I wasn’t being treated the way I was treating someone else.
I was constantly in victim mode.
Learning that “the reason you’re suffering is because you are focused on yourself” changes that story and practicing empathy helps it all come from the right place.
There are certain things that everyone wants, things that matter to us all.
We all want to be seen for who we are and what makes us special. We want to be heard and validated. We like it when other people are generous and helpful. We all like it when we are appreciated.
It turns out that when we stop thinking about how we would like to be treated, and just start treating other people well, because that’s the kind of person we want to be, we actually start treating people how we would like to be treated.
Ultimately we all want the same thing.
Treating others how you would like to be treated is a side effect, not a rule.