In my quest for perfection I had completely repressed all of my imperfections. They call these your shadow side, the side of you that isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. If you think you don’t have one, then you are in the same place I was.
The problem with repressing your shadow side, is that it doesn’t go away, you just can’t see it in yourself and instead you see it in everyone else. This is how mirroring works. The rest of the world shows up in a way that brings light to all of the parts you don’t want to see in yourself.
If it’s triggering you that someone is stubborn…odds are the resistance is actually inside of you.
If it’s triggering you that someone is a negative nelly… it’s you who is in a negative state of mind.
If someone’s selfishness bothers you… you are probably focused on yourself.
I’m not saying those traits aren’t alive and well in the other person, they certainly are. We all encompass all of them, utopia and perfection are just something we expect, not something we can actually achieve.
The emotional trigger in yourself is the key to figuring it out.
If someone else makes you feel angry or frustrated, and you want to blame them for an imperfection… it’s time to dig in and look for it in yourself because it’s likely repressed and laying dormant.
If it doesn’t upset you, you might recognize it, “he’s being stubborn because he’s afraid”, or “she’s being selfish because she’s just trying to survive right now”.
You can do this once you have seen it inside yourself.
Until you see it in yourself, you will think everyone else is to blame. That’s how repression works.
On the flip side, if you don’t acknowledge your genius, you will put others on a pedestal because you think they have something you don’t.
We are born whole.
What’s in another is always inside of you also.
When you own your genius and own your shadow side, and see yourself as a whole human being, it allows you to release a lot of suffering and frustration with the world.
You can relate and understand instead of blame and point fingers. You can empathize and work with them instead of fight and resist them. You can lead, or coax another into the light where they are brave and willing to try, instead of meeting them with force or resistance.
But before you can do this, you need to acknowledge and understand it all inside of yourself.
And you have to give up the quest for utopia and perfection.