Unless I’m in the right mental space, I have a hard time focusing and reading long quotes, so I don’t typically share them here because we are here for short write ups that make us feel good.
While reading this morning I came across these words from Perma Chödrön, the Canadian Buddhist monk, and I loved what she said.
She explains why life has to be both glorious and wretched.
On the dark days we forget that there has to be balance.
The sentence that really jumped out at me was, “when you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose, you’re just there.”
I was reminded this week how feeling like you haven’t got anything to lose is a very powerful position to be in because it removes our big fears of loss, less, or never.
What we think is ours, is never truly ours… and when we find the space that knows that, our fear dissipates.
Although it makes sense, I never realized that deep grief puts you in that space.
Enjoy her words. I would love to hear what stands out for you when you read this.
“Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness–life’s painful aspect–softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose–you’re just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We’d be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn’t have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.”
― Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living