I went to the Jonathan Field symposium in Calgary with Mom. It was a one time event where a few horse trainers from different disciplines got together and showcased their skills.
During the event, they had a horse whispering challenge. They took wild and unbroke young horses and tamed them and got on and rode them over the span of two or three hours. If you haven’t seen something like this before, it’s worth your time to seek it out.
The wild horses were on a long lead rope. They completely ignore the trainer and have no respect for him at first. The trainer keeps them on the rope and pushes them forward into a trot allowing them the space to circle around him on the end of the rope. Every so often the trainer will do something to interrupt the horse, by having him switch directions in the circle, to remind the horse he’s there.
For some horses this goes on for a long time, they keep circling the trainer and virtually ignoring him. Other horses almost immediately stop, look at the trainer and do what’s called “ask the question”.
Once the horse is asking the question, he becomes teachable and learns quickly. He is humble, vulnerable, and searching for the answer.
It took me a long time to figure out what it looks like when a horse is asking a question. One of the trainers at the symposium had a tough horse who was happy to ignore him for a very long time. For almost an hour he let the horse run circles around him, completely ignoring him. He just kept reminding the horse he was there.
Finally the horse stopped for a second and looked at him as if to say, “why are you doing this and why do you keep interrupting me?”
The horse asked the first question and the relationship between horse and human changed.
The horse gets progressively more interested in the human. The horse stops asking ‘why are you interrupting me’, and moves into ‘what are you trying tell me’.
The relationship has now changed and the horse starts his learning and personal growth journey.
This is exactly what life looks like for us.
We run around in circles completely oblivious to our path and our purpose. Life gets in the way and interrupts us but we ignore it and keep running in circles.
No matter what we try we get the same result and we start to ask why. Eventually we get tired of being interrupted.
Maybe the interruptions come in the form of lost relationships. Friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, or business relationships. You begin to see a pattern amongst all of the ones you’ve lost and start to ask why.
Maybe our health starts to fade, and we start to ask why.
Maybe our life changes in an instant with a bad accident or loss of a loved one and we ask why.
Maybe we are just tired of feeling lonely, sad, or trapped, and we start to ask why.
There is a certain amount of vulnerability that comes with asking these ‘why’ questions at first. We fight with our ego because we think we should have all of the answers. It’s hard to admit we don’t have the answers, but I’m learning the moment we realize we don’t have the answer is precisely the same moment life starts to get interesting.
It all starts with asking open hearted and vulnerable questions. From there our personal growth journey begins over and over and over again.