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Where Does Connection Come From?

by jodi // April 6

I grew up on the back of a horse and my one horse, Starpasser, took on the huge job of carrying me through my teenage years.

I never truly felt alone, even with all of my struggles with friendships, because I always had him. Even when he was grumpy, and he could definitely get grumpy, I never ever doubted that he loved me.

We had a connection and an unbreakable bond.

After horses, I lived several years isolated from the world, from my family, from friends and from animals. My world became primarily me, my husband, and my kids. I kept giving up everything until I had nothing left to give up.

Connection was something I had taken for granted. It was something I had just always felt, and never thought about. When it was gone I didn’t even know I was missing it.

When I listen to the people around me, there are a lot of people craving connection, so I’ve been thinking about my return to feeling connected all of the time.

I used to think connection was a 2-way street, in order to feel connection you had to be connected to someone who was feeling connected to you.

Now I know differently.

Feeling fully and deeply connected with life starts with feeling connected to yourself and what’s in your heart.

There is no ego involved, there is no thinking or thoughts. It doesn’t come from living in your brain and you can’t think your way into connection.

Connection comes from listening to and honouring yourself. That means listening to what your heart is telling you, following your inner guidance, and honouring what it’s telling you.

When fear or ego creep in we close our hearts and cut off connection.

Staying in a state of connection means understanding that what is happening is for your greater good, not a punishment, and trusting it. It means allowing others to make their choices and not closing your heart when you don’t agree with them.

It means choosing love as often as you can.

Once you have found true connection within yourself, then you can build connections outside of yourself.

Building a connection with someone else requires vulnerability, empathy, and boundaries. If you aren’t connected to yourself, then you can’t create real meaningful connection with another because you won’t be able to achieve vulnerability.

Building connection within a community requires generosity, compassion, and more empathy. It forms when you come together with a common goal that is generous and focused on what’s best for all involved, and for all who aren’t involved. A connected community is selfless and fulfilling at the same time.

We are lucky to live in a time where communication is easy. The only thing holding us back from being connected is ourselves and the beliefs we are holding about ourselves.

“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives”. Brene Brown.


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