We believe that we are driven by the negative influence in our lives.
We develop superpowers based on our survival skills from trauma, painful experiences, and difficult people we have experienced.
I used to walk in a room and check to see the emotional state of every person that was in there. I considered this to be a super power. Within seconds I could tell you who was happy, who was sad, who was angry, who was afraid, and who was ok.
Looking back I can see it was a survival mechanism. I was feverishly checking in order to protect myself from the unstable people. Deep down I didn’t feel like I could handle the difficult people, so I was checking and then guarding myself from them.
I would sink way back in my shell and try to make myself invisible if I had to be near them.
I had a hard time letting that “super power” go because I developed it for my protection. I held on unconsciously, because I thought I needed it.
But the problem with being negatively driven by something is that it makes you obsessive. You power through with blinders on and you miss a lot of the beauty of what is possible.
I was seeking okayness within myself, working on opening my heart, and learning to reach out to people – I had to let go of my super power.
But I didn’t know who I would be when I did that. I wondered if I wouldn’t be sensitive anymore – I like being sensitive.
I wondered if I wouldn’t be an empath anymore – how would I connect with people?
When you let go of something that you are using for survival, you don’t know who you will be without it, after all you created that super power out of a perceived weakness within yourself.
A lot of people use humour as their super power, some people are nice, some people over think everything, other people organize, and other people are bullies. When you are using it as your survival super power, you become really good at it.
It’s scary to let it go.
But you don’t lose the skill set you have developed.
If you have learned how to make people laugh, you will always be able to make them laugh, but you won’t have to do it under pressure. You can be like Ellen Degeneres and it can be easy.
If you overthink everything, you will still be able to think your way through well. You will do it because you enjoy it, not because you think you will die if you don’t. The pressure is gone and your thoughts become clear and coherent.
If being nice is your survival super power, then you can stop being a doormat and start being compassionate. You will be able to love and empathize with people, but you will be able to create boundaries that keep the both of you safe.
And if like me, you are an emotional temperature checker – you might not need to know anymore, because when you are present, and ok, you don’t need to protect yourself from the bullies in the room. Who they are is their journey, and you are ok enough that you don’t have to react to it.
It can feel scary to let go of your survival super power without knowing who you will be when it’s gone. But I promise you will be better because you will feel better.
P.S. I sent you a letter today about the way horses have taught me about asking questions, and communication, and connection. If you would like it, sign up below and I will get it to you. You will love it.