They say we change who we are every 7 years. When I look back to who I was 7 years ago I almost don’t recognize that person anymore.
I was living someone else’s life and wondering why it wasn’t working out.
I was allowing all the things I didn’t like to take over my life and making excuses for why I was doing so.
I didn’t do what made me happy, I did what would make someone else happy.
I didn’t choose the people in my life, I chased acceptance by other people.
I would drink alcohol because everyone else did and they told me it was fun.
I was so preoccupied in my quest for making the outside right in my life and missing the whole point.
I didn’t care about the little things.
I wasn’t making choices, I was making sacrifices.
In the last 7 years, it feels like I have been almost completely reborn.
I have learned to be responsible for my own life and to choose the things, people, and places that make me happy. When those things choose me it’s delightful, but also rare. We always need to be refining, fine tuning and weeding out what doesn’t work for us and as we do that the picture becomes cleaner and clearer.
I have learned that I love life when it’s fun and it’s the most fun when I feel good. It’s fun to feel creative and inspired. It’s fun to wake up and write a kick ass blog. Its fun to progress. It’s fun to engage and connect with someone else. It’s fun to get shit done. It is not fun to feel numb, glossy eyed, sick, and tired. Drinking alcohol and eating poorly only makes me feel tired and less inspired, it’s not fun for me.
I have learned the more I can be myself, the more I respect others choices to be who they are. I am now constantly searching and trying to find a clearer way to express what’s inside of me, and live in a way that aligns with who I am. The more I align the more the world around me aligns with me and I begin to wonder if the world I used to live in still exists at all anymore.
I have learned that I love to do little acts of service for people I don’t know. If I see someone who needs a hand, I always help them now. If I see something I can do that might make life easier for someone else, I do it. When people are taking selfies, I offer to take their picture for them. When someone drops something I help them pick it up, when an older lady needs help on the escalator, I help her. It’s the constant stream of doing little things that feel like wins to me. I’ve learned you don’t do these things for someone else, you do them for you because it feels good to be a generous, caring, human being.
Every little piece matters.
Every choice, every single thought, and every person you give your time to.
7 years ago I didn’t understand all of that yet.
Who did you used to be?