I reconnected with an old boyfriend briefly last year.
I am so grateful for the time we spent chatting and rehashing the past, it really connected me back to “who I used to be” and I needed that, I was missing some pieces.
We spent hours rehashing and reminiscing. Both of us had misunderstandings that needed to be healed and we were able to talk through a lot of it.
Here’s the interesting part, because all of this happened well over 20 years ago, we had lost a lot of the details with words and conversations, but both of us could remember moments and how we felt in those moments.
Our conversations went on for days and we took turns telling stories about what we remembered, over and over one of us would ask for details the other one would say, “I don’t know I only remember how I felt”… and what we felt in those moments was directly related to each other.
For a long time now I have struggled with the words “I miss you”. When I say those words to someone, it means ‘I want to see you’ but not everyone uses those words that way. Sometimes they say them to someone when they take a trip or move away and they don’t see each other in person, and they don’t intend to see each other.
I wondered why it was important to physically see someone.
This morning I woke up with a couple of lines from Ed Sheerans song, Castle on the Hill, singing over and over on my mind. I am learning that when this happens there is usually a message in it for me.
One of the lines was, “I miss the way you make me feel, it’s real”. And when I stopped to look for the message in the words, the matrix all came together.
That is what we really mean when we say I miss you. We are saying I miss the way you make me feel. When we physically see someone, that is when the connection is the strongest and we feel the most.
We don’t miss people who don’t make us feel good. We resist them and push them away. It’s much easier to cut energetic and spiritual ties with someone who doesn’t make us feel good. We are relieved to not have to feel the way they make us feel.
It’s almost impossible to cut them with someone who makes us feel good.
We are hardwired and preprogrammed to reach for what feels good. We are constantly searching for what feels good and even if we aren’t consciously choosing what makes us feel good, we crave it. That’s where addiction comes from, but that’s another story.
That is why love conquers all.
Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I always thought that was a nice quote, and deep down I knew there was merit to it. But now I get it.
No matter what they say, no matter what they do, when it’s all said and done, that is all people remember in the end.
They will always remember the way you made them feel.