I was at a horse event on the weekend. It’s one of my favourites to go to because I get to connect with my people. This year was better than most as the energy was high and crowd was fun.
As I stood in line to grab a coffee I overheard one of the horse trainers talk about the horse he was working with, “I look for signs of willingness, not submission”.
“Willingness” hit my radar last year and it’s become one of my favourite human characteristics to be around. When I hear talk of it, my ears perk up.
Even though I had never made the distinction before it seemed obvious to compare willingness vs submission when he said it. Natural horsemanship people talk about willingness all of the time and the old “cowboy way” was to demand submission.
Willingness means no resistance.
Someone who is “willing” wants to learn and they want to be involved. They easily help, participate, ask questions, lend a hand, or dive in. Everything flows and grows and there is life.
Willingness means they have moved out of fear, and through courage to now do whatever needs to be done.
Submission is where resentment lies. When we have a different idea or opinion and we haven’t been heard so we shut down and “do what we are told”. There is no connection, no communication, and no flow. There is no growth.
Submission reminds me of stagnant water. Illness and disease are the only things growing there.
We can find willingness within ourselves if we look for it.
In order to overcome resistance in myself I’ve had to choose bravery, tackle hard things, and leave old belief & thought patterns behind.
Once you know what willingness feels like in you, it’s easier to recognize in someone else.
We can ask and wait for willingness in someone else by building trust, leading by generous example, and helping others overcome their fear blocks.
When you find people who are willing to walk alongside you, the world looks different.