Oprah used to ask the question, “what do you know for sure?” I thought this was a great question because it felt like it spoke to the deep things, which I love. Sometimes I would ask people, “what do you know for sure?” But I would never get really great answers like Oprah did.
Finally I quit asking others and started asking myself. In conversations I would occasionally say, “I know this for sure”…if it was good enough for Oprah it was good enough for me.
Last year I came across a Mark Twain quote that really popped out to me, and I posted it in one of my feature Friday’s , and on Facebook asking for other people’s thoughts on what it meant.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you in trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” – Mark Twain.
I had a hard time swallowing it, I thought, “isn’t ‘what you know for sure’ the good stuff?” But because his words had really caught my attention, I stuck with them. Pretty soon I was questioning everything I thought I knew, because I didn’t want to “get in trouble”. (Good girl syndrome).
I listened to some Buddha teachings a few months later from Pema Chodrön and the teaching was to never say you “know” something and to replace it with “I understand”, or “I’m learning”.
If you went back and read through all of my blogs you can probably find the switch… I went from ego based writing of “I know this and that”, to “I am learning” or “I am beginning to understand”.
This simple shift in wording over the last year has been profound for me.
When you claim to know something your brain shuts off any further exploration of it, and a 2-conversation with others loses its depth. It’s the end and you are left stuck at whichever knowing you think you have because you aren’t allowing growth.
When you say, “this has been my understanding”, it leaves it open for interpretation to others to find their understanding, and keeps your mind open and curious for other perspectives.
It also keeps your ego at bay, and anything that keeps that fun squasher from taking over is gold.
The more I accept I don’t know and live in that space, the more I get out of my own way.
I ask better questions which means I can glean more wisdom from others. I allow life to unfold the way it’s meant to because I am not trying to direct it, and gifts and surprises show up all over the place because I have no expectations… I genuinely don’t know what to expect.
I was listening to Oprah do an interview this week, and I heard her say “this is what I know for sure…” and for the first time ever, she slipped off the pedestal I have her on. That was sad. (It was just a tiny slip though, not a face plant).
Question everything, but especially what you think you know for sure.
You will be surprised to find you really don’t know what you think you know.
Then once you figure that out, the world becomes filled with the curiosity of new beginnings and ‘first time for everything’s’ which is light and fun and playful.
You just don’t know what you don’t know…but it sure is neat to find out.