You Should Be Here

22 years ago, Mr. Starpasser (we called him Dex) and I were in Ohio competing at the largest horse show in the world.  We returned to Canada as Reserve Champions.  

That was the pinnacle moment of our career, and the journey to get there was life changing… for both of us. 

We lost him one year ago today at the age of 32.

Since this day last year I have spent a lot of time going through the grief of losing someone who changed my life, and in so many ways, gave me life.  

He taught me to take responsibility for myself and to be responsible for others. He taught me to feel and to trust. He taught me the rewards of practicing and the consequences of not practicing enough.  He taught me the importance of being prepared, and the danger of being over prepared.  

He showed me undying and unconditional love, win or lose.  He taught me to mind my p’s and q’s, to always secure the gate, put extra knots in the lead rope and to never miss feeding time. 

But most of all he taught me what it was like to be a champion.   To show up for each other, try your hardest, never give up, and to dazzle them with talent.    

He was a legend.  

They say every little girl should have a horse, and it’s true. A horse is the best teammate ever, he will push you, test you, love you, and show up to serve you however you need every single time you walk in their pen.  

As life went on, I didn’t spend the time riding him and fussing over him anymore, but there was always a deep seated comfort for me knowing he was there.  

The cool and very sad part about animals, is that they can choose when to leave and how they leave us.

I guess he thought I would be ok without him now…

I miss him every day.  

Dex dropped to ground without any suffering, and was still warm when we found him.  Thankfully, he was healthy right up to that moment…but he has sure left a hole in our hearts.  

Without fail, every time I am around a horse or talking horse, the Cole Swindell song You Should Be Here comes on.

Yes Dex…I wish you were.