When I was newly married I had a certain ideal I wanted to live my life by. I was a fairytale believer and I wanted the utopian happy loving family with the white picket fence.
Of course not everyone has the same dreams. Probably it was something we should have discussed as a newly married couple, but we never did. I assumed I could just make it happen.
When things started going down a drastically different path from my dream, I became awful.
My nickname became ‘Angry Joan’ as I used the only skills I had to try to get things back on track. I was scary when I was scared.
Luckily for me I married someone who was stronger willed than I was. It certainly didn’t feel lucky at the time. I was having full blown panic attacks. I had severe anxiety and couldn’t keep a friendship.
But I learned in a very clear way, the only person I had control over was myself and who I wanted to be for my kids.
When the panic attacks would start, I would turn on Wayne Dyer. Dr. Dyer saved me countless times.
And Angry Joan disappeared.