A girlfriend of mine called me one day upset with her husbands attitude.
She was listing all of the ways he was negative and it was making her angry.
He didn’t like his job, he didn’t like their friends, and he didn’t like where they were living.
I could see why she was upset and I empathized with her, they were young and he was unsettled and she felt like he wasn’t even trying to be happy.
When we got off the phone, I was thinking about our conversation and how I could help her. That’s when it struck me, she was being negative about his negativity!
Ever since that day, I have seen this multiple times in multiple ways.
When I get too involved in someone else’s problems it always happens to me.
If they are stuck on something, I become stuck on finding solutions for them.
If they are mad about something trivial, I am mad at them for being mad about that.
If they are negative about life, I am negative about their negativity.
Now that I am aware, I will sometimes catch myself in the act.
The best way to change it up is to allow the other their space to learn their lessons in life.
You can always care about someone, but never invest so much that you own their issues for them.