Inside the roles we play are all sorts of expectations which come from both sides of the equation. I expect my role to look like this, and you expect my role to be something different… and that goes both ways. For every 2 person interaction there are at least 4 sets of expectations to deal with, if you add a person you exponentially add more expectations. It gets complicated very quickly.
We assume roles all of the time.
We take on the role a friend, a spouse, or a parent and then we take on different roles within those relationships. Maybe we hire someone to perform a service or do a job and we each play a role in those relationships too.
Our lives are filled with the roles we play and the roles others take on.
I used to only focus on doing what everyone wanted me to do. The questions I asked myself were about what others would think. How can I do the best job possible? How can I please others? Who can I impress? How do I make sure I don’t break the rules and upset anyone?
I used to be afraid to ask for what I needed or communicate about what I expected because I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It was so bad that when we hired a young receptionist who would happily only write down 6 digits of a 7 digit phone number and give us the message. I didn’t ever say anything to her.
Then I learned about this beautiful thing called accountability.
When I started putting myself out into the world in ways that would keep me accountable to show up (a blog was born), it taught me about a different kind of role in my life. One where I was holding myself accountable to others that didn’t have an expectation of me. I had stepped up and said you can count on me to show up everyday and write something.
The more I became aware of how being accountable to others helped me to be better, the more I have become comfortable with holding others accountable too.
We are usually all on the same page because we want to do a good job of whatever we are doing. I don’t very often see someone set out to fail.
Not only is it ok to hold each other accountable, it’s necessary. When we kindly hold each other accountable to the roles we have taken on we are helping each other and all of the others who might not be speaking up or know better.