This year was a blur.
I had big plans for 2020, but it had bigger plan for me.
At this time last year I had released my first online course – a goal I had for several years – and I was telling you I was going to start a podcast.
My plans for 2020:
I was going to refine the course i had built and offer it again at least 2 more times through the year.
That didn’t happen because of a few minor derailments.
This is what happened instead:
I ended up in court in February with my in-laws and we all were a part of a major historic event in March. The pandemic hit North America and school (and everything else) was cancelled and my kids were home.
April I spent adjusting and trying to get my bearings. I was a bit stunned about what was happening.
In May my son got a sore throat and although he tested negative we were home for a week and the next week I had my in-laws surprise me by camping out in my yard.
June brought graduation for my son which was put on by some beautiful and generous friends. Although this grad class doesn’t know it – their grad was better and classier than any normal graduation ceremony.
July was filled with dentist appointments which should have been easy. But one dentist appointment went haywire and my daughters left side of her face was paralyzed. Turns out it was Bells Palsy. It took a few weeks and her face was back to normal.
August brought on major burnout and one Tuesday morning I told my daughter to pack up and we left the next day to get away. We went to BC for two weeks. It took ten days to unwind and enjoy myself but the last 4 days were awesome.
In September I sent my daughter back to school with major anxiety and quit my job after 10 years in the family business. My son moved out and in with a friend.
In October I quit blogging everyday and slept and cried a lot. I started a new job that lasted 2 weeks before the founders pulled the plug and shut the whole thing down.
November I spent riding horses 6 days a week with my mom. I started drafting an idea for an app and built a prototype in a database. I also started 2 new online classes, one in marketing and one on copywriting. Both of which will bring changes around here in the new year.
I started to get excited about my future even though it’s still uncertain.
In December we had lockdowns and they closed the high schools. My daughter was back home again. Christmas was quiet but lovely and yesterday I signed the final papers for my divorce – almost 8 years after we separated.
And here we are on the last day.
My lessons from this year:
My biggest lesson was to stop believing myself and start believing IN myself.
I stopped believing in what IS and I started believing in what could be.
I stopped believing the stories, evidence, signs, and narrative in my head.
I stopped listening to the ranting, and the fear, and the limits I placed on myself.
I stopped believing the voice, and the evidence no matter what I was seeing, hearing or smelling.
I started noticing almost nothing I thought was real actually was real.
I believed in myself. I believed I was enough and I started to lean into and stand up for the value I bring with me. This gave me so much new confidence.
I also learned the value of ownership. Owning instead of renting, owning your role in conflict, owning your emotions and triggers, and owning your life.
And I learned that when you create something with the intention of offering enough value that they will miss you when you’re gone. They actually miss you when you’re gone. I loved this lesson.
What can you learn from my year?
Add value wherever you go. Value could mean wisdom, skills, knowledge, wins, hints, tips, physical labour, insights, or feedback.
Keep moving forward and believing things will be ok even when all of the signs are showing you destruction and devastation.
Don’t believe everything you see.
Life is tough but you’re tougher.
There is always a way, but you probably won’t recognize it when it hits. Stay open to opportunities that don’t present as opportunities.
Courage is summoned from the inside but it’s not only about you. A lot of courage comes from having the right people around you supporting you.
My favourite books from 2020
Shoe Dog – Phil Knights story about building Nike. Not only a business book, but a book about risk taking, sports, and overcoming adversity.
City of Girls – Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book. Not for kids or I would have given it to my daughter to read. This was a delightful and fun story with some history from NYC. (This book shared wisdom that helped me this year)
I also enjoyed reading and would recommend, but only if it fits your interests:
Know my Name: A Memoir (by Chanel Miller, a true story of a college rape case),
Where the Crawdads Sing (by Delia Owens, highly recommended by many book clubs),
How to Get Rich (Felix Dennis, founder of Maxim Magazine, this book has a terrible title but its a pretty good book),
Wishes Fulfilled (a classic manifestation book by Wayne Dyer),
Rework (by Jason Fried, David Heinemeier Hanson, This is a business book),
Pitch Anything (By Oren Klaff, discusses sales through status roles and social dynamics),
That Will Never Work (by Marc Randolph the story from the founder of Netflix).
The Ride of a Lifetime (by Robert Iger, the former CEO of Disney)
My life hasn’t ever been a walk in the park, but I still feel lucky and I always choose to love life.
This year was no different.
Normally I would be encouraging you to set goals, make plans, and figure out what direction you want your life to take this year.
I still encourage you to do that.
If nothing else, 2020 has showed us that nothing is forever.
I feel like we are ending on a high note.
Now we know we can.
So let’s do it. Whatever it is.
Happy New Year to each and everyone of you.
I love you fiercely. See you next year!