There are 2 ways to approach relationships.
The first one is by making everything about you, taking it all personally, and worrying about yourself.
The other way is to focus on the other person, to give generously, to put them first, to extend yourself on their behalf, and to make sure you keep what’s best for them in the forefront.
The first way is our default setting.
The second way takes consistent and conscious effort. It takes emotional labour, a lot of soft skills, and a high EQ.
The first way leaves you feeling like you can’t get enough, you feel like you need to preserve yourself, and use force to make things happen.
The second way fills your heart. It makes all of the extra work worth it, and it pays off in ripple effects that you might never anticipate or even know about. It’s powerful and works in mysterious ways, but you have to trust that the work is worth it and will be enough.
If you choose the first way you will always feel like there is more to life.
If you choose the second way, you will have to operate on faith and trust and expose yourself all of the time. You can’t protect yourself or you fall back into the first way.
But the good news is, you’ll never have to think about yourself because the more you try to help other people get what they want, the less you will ever want for anything else.