I remember the day I started writing instead of blurting out what was on my mind. It was a really bad day and my emotions were ugly and out of control. I couldn’t keep my emotions contained and someone was going to get blasted. I opened the notes section on my phone and started furiously typing out a message I intended to send later by text once I could think clearly.
I kept that message for days, or maybe weeks, and added to it as the emotions would flare up. I never did send it because something I wasn’t expecting started to happen.
I began to find peace inside of myself over the issue without ever sending the message.
Here’s what I learned from that experience.
We need to express what is inside of us. That is how it heals. We have to honour our feelings, validate our thoughts, and get all of the ugliest things that are on the inside, out.
Most of those ugly feelings are pent up emotions from the stories we tell ourselves about how we’ve been wronged. Blasting another person over our issues isn’t helpful, in fact the only thing it does is damage to a relationship.
Writing has saved other people from my emotional carnage, but it has mostly saved me. It gives me space to express the ugliness inside of me without causing damage to my relationships and to the people I love. Once the emotions have simmered down I can look at the situation clearly and address the issues at hand – if they still exist.
I very rarely say things out loud that I don’t mean. I can speak with intention and choose to say only the things that need to be said to help my relationships, not destroy them.
If you aren’t a writer, you might be a talker and most devices have a space to record your thoughts safely. I encourage you to use it.
Keeping the ugly inside isn’t helpful it needs to be released. Always search for a way to let it out where you aren’t breaking down what you have worked hard to build. It will change your life. I promise.