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I had a cashier at Walmart who mechanically scanned my items and packed them in bags.   She only grunted in reply as I asked her a question and as I searched her face, it was expressionless, and her eyes were dull.

In that short encounter, where I’m quite certain she didn’t even realize I was a warm body in front of her….I found myself wishing she loved what she was doing and wondering if she had forgotten there was more to life than this.     

Because sometimes we forget don’t we?  We get stuck in a routine or buried under responsibility.   We can fill our plates with so many ‘have-to’s”, we run out of time for the “want-to’s”.

There is so much more to life.   There are things that will keep us feeling alive if we keep engaging in them.  

We need to play.   Maybe even be silly.  Look at the lighter side of things and laugh.  

We need to create.   

We need to try new things and go on adventures and experience life.  

We need to connect with each other and with new people.   

We need to say yes to life…

I think if we are going to have  a ‘have-to’ saying yes to life should be on it.

I used to be a chronic “what if” girl.

I would play out scenarios in my head until I had myself so tied in knots over all of the bad possibilities of what could be.

One scenario would lead to the next, and to the next until I would have myself all wound up.  I would have a knot in my stomach, shaking legs, and jumbled thoughts.

I did this for years.

Over time, I realized that no matter how bad something was, it was never as bad as I imagined it was going to be.

The storm didn’t blow my house away, the person wasn’t as angry as I thought, the bee sting didn’t hurt like I thought it would.

I have started to realize that we all have incredible imaginations but that we are terrible “future tellers”.

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. – Lao Tzu

So far every time I’ve checked, in this moment I am always ok.

And that’s the best place to hang out.

We so often hold ourselves back by what other people will think.

She will be furious if I do that or he will be all over me if I do that. Lots of time the voices in our head stem from words another person has spoke.

They trap us and we remain stuck because of them.

When we really start to evaluate the validity of those voices… we quite often find the story doesn’t line up and doesn’t make sense.

Then we can release it and move on.

One way to short cut that work, is to give yourself permission to do what is right for you… no matter what those voices have said to you in the past.

Just for today (and hopefully for all days) let’s give ourselves permission to do what we want, what excites us, what feels good, and what will take us in the direction of our vision of the future.

Lets surpass the voices, what other people will think, the criticism, the judgments, and everything that’s holding us back from loving the life you dream of, and take the next step anyway.

Deep down you know what to do.

Just do it.

Just for today take a moment to revisit the goals you made for this year.

Even if you didn’t formally write them down, there were probably things you were looking forward to changing or progressing in your life.

Think about what you had hoped for in your relationships, career/business, financial, personal growth, spiritual, home improvement, and self care.

Sometimes it only takes a small reminder of what you wanted to get back on track.

Just for today remind yourself about the journey you intend to be on. And maybe you will find your next step.

I believed I was really good at “loving” someone.

I would put their happiness first, I would make sacrifices for them, I would care for them, emotionally support them, cheer them on, and I would be epically patient and understanding with them no matter what.  

This was my definition of how to love someone.

I knew I had a big heart, and I believed my heart could weather all of the storms.

So I put it through hell.

I made choices and put myself in situations and told the universe my heart didn’t matter because it was big and strong and it could handle anything,

I didn’t honour what was in my heart.  I didn’t listen to my heart, I didn’t speak from my heart, and I didn’t apply any of that “really good love” to myself.

I didn’t let anyone else have that job either because that was a bit too vulnerable, and my heart was big and strong.

One day I noticed a physical pain in my heart.

At first it was a little jab here and there and I didn’t pay much attention.

But over the months it grew into a continuous ache that I couldn’t ignore anymore.

I remember thinking one day, “I have a really good heart, why am I not looking after it?”

That was the day I started making better choices, I started allowing myself to be loved, and I really started listening to what my heart wanted and was trying to tell me.

I started to live life with my whole heart, instead of only using half of it.

The pain went away when I started listening to my heart and stopped trying to figure everything out in my head.

It certainly hasn’t always been easy, and there has been a lot of change in me to get there.

It’s a journey, but it’s the one that will lead you to the life you dream of.

When it comes to you, are you listening to what your heart wants?
PS.  If you have a big strong heart but don’t know how to follow it, sign up for my private email list below.  I’m building a course that teaches how to live whole-heartedly and I’ll drop you a line as more details become available.   

I’ve heard Oprah talk about her kitchen cabinet people.  

I had no idea why she used the term “kitchen cabinet” so I looked it up.  I was quite surprised to find that it comes from politics.

Former President Andrew Jackson used it to describe the collection of unofficial advisers he consulted with in parallel to the United States Cabinet… and they were called his “kitchen cabinet” by his political opponents.  That was an interesting little fact I didn’t anticipate finding.

The term is used now to refer to personally trusted friends and associates (and it’s still used in politics to describe the Presidents closest advisors).

I had imagined it to be the people you would invite to sit around your kitchen table, have coffee with and talk about things that matter.  

But when it’s being used by Presidents for well over a century, it sounds so much more important, doesn’t it? 

Not having been one myself, I had never given much thought to the closest friends and associates of the President and how they might affect (by supporting or not supporting) the choices he would have to make of behalf of a nation.

If the opponents are the ones who originally named them, I would guess the kitchen cabinet carries a substantial amount of weight.

I have heard Oprah use the term multiple times over the years, and listening to her talk about hers, I have started to pay closer attention to who mine are.

For a long time I had people in my kitchen Cabinet who were selfish and didn’t have my best interests at heart and it’s possible I still have a few in there.  I don’t think these are the best choices.

We need people who will put our well being above their own, who will support and encourage us on what’s best for us in our pursuits, who care enough to alert us when we need a course correction, and to gently (and sometimes not gently) push us when we are scared or stuck.

Ultimately we will know what is best for ourselves and the choices we need to make, but these people will help you keep it real.

Oprah has kitchen cabinet people.

The President has kitchen cabinet people.

Do you?  And are they the right ones?

Having the “wrong ones” will likely push you to become acutely aware of what’s really important to you (over a long period of time).

Having the right ones will help you go where you want to go faster, quicker, and straighter.

We need to choose our cabinet wisely.  

You’ve got to take them with you.

When you are growing, changing, expanding, creating, healing, or learning… it is better if you don’t keep it a secret from the people closest to you.

Your energy changes, and the energy builds as you go. You want to keep everyone that matters in the energy with you.

I’ve left people in the dust several times before out of my own insecurities. I didn’t want to be shut down or talked out of something before I knew what it was. So I didn’t share.

It creates a separation between you and the other person.

If you don’t want to share, then its worth exploring the reasons why. You will likely find a small gold mine of information about yourself and your relationship.

Its always better to keep the energy congruent.

I love to be outside.  

My favourite is when it’s quiet and still.   

It’s a feeling you can’t always find and don’t feel in the busy day to day of life.  

When I find myself in the still, I stop and connect to it.  

It is one of the most fulfilling and expansive feelings.   

If you are priviledged enough to spend most of your time in nature, you probably automatically know this feeling.  

But if you are part of the hustle bustle of life, notice when it’s peace and calm outside…. And then connect to it.  

Feel the stillness inside of you and match it to the stillness outside.   

You will love the feeling, I promise.   Even if it’s only for a minute.  

Please don’t turn your back on someone who has done you no harm and would never harm you.   

Please don’t alienate the people who want to be in your circle of love. 

We need to embrace each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and be the gate keeper of each other’s hearts.  

When you hurt me, you hurt yourself because together we could be stronger.  

When you turn you back on someone who is opening their heart and being vulnerable… You are blocking a piece of your heart also.

We need connection.  
We need safety.  

We need to know we are always welcome, loved and protected.  

We need to be a safe place to land.  

At my very first appointment with my therapist/intuitive energy lady, she talked about how we each have our own mountain and how I was never living on mine, I was always on someone else’s.  

Life is so interwoven with experiences, people, ideas, triumph and struggle it was hard to understand what was my mountain and what wasn’t, and it took me a while to sort out consciously what exactly she was referring to.
5 years later I’m still sorting it out… I just realized I’m back on everyone else’s mountain again. 

Our path is on our mountain. That’s where we are heading, it’s our truth, our dreams, and our hearts desires. When we are on our path we are intrinsically motivated, up at 5:55 am instead of 6:00, excited for life, and feeling fulfilled. 

But our path isn’t a straight line, it’s full of crooks and valleys, rain and snow, obstacles and injury.  

All of the things we have struggled through to get where we are, everything we have built, pieced together, created, and come out of the other side of, combined with our path forward make our mountain.

Sometimes when my mountain seems too easy or seems too hard, I will move onto someone else’s mountain.  Lots of times when someone else is really struggling, I will jump over to their mountain, and sometimes I will unintentionally be lured onto someone else’s mountain.

Getting onto their mountain is easy for me… I can jump, run, skip, fly and teleport there.

Getting off their mountain, and back onto mine is hard… but the universe helps me out when I need it. It makes the wrong thing difficult and the right thing easier.  

It turns my mountain into a priority by throwing curveballs, creating struggle, or affecting my health. Pretty soon I have no choice but to get back on or things will implode… and I don’t like implosions.  

So here I am, recovering from sickness and quite a few days of curveballs, getting back on my own mountain and back on my path, and things are starting to fall into place again.

What’s your most pressing problem right now?

Do you know how to solve it?

If someone could solve it for you, then it’s worth something to you.

If you determine the worth then you can decide if you actually want it solved, or not.

The greatest way I’ve discovered to use money is to figure out what it’s worth to me to solve my problem.

Once I have the answer then it’s not about spending, saving, or whether I want it or not. It’s about the numbers and the math.

Is paying for the solution less or more than what you determine it’s worth to you.

If it’s less then it’s a no brainer – you do it.

If it’s more than what it’s worth to you – you have work to do. You either need to find more value in the solution or solve the problem yourself.

Isn’t it fun to think that in 4 days we get to start a whole new year?

Starting fresh feels good.

Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

For the next 4 days I encourage you to think about trying new things.

I’m not talking about new restaurants or a new pair of shoes.

I’m taking about trying a new belief system, or trying a new way of thinking, or trying to get a different result.

Try believing something that you think is hard could be easy.

Or try believing you don’t know what you think you know.

Maybe try making a decision within 2 minutes.

Or try planning your days the night before.

Whatever it is, it’s great to be intentional and know why you’re going to do it.

4 days left!

Before I stared my fear of rejection straight in the face, I was dancing around it.

I was making choices for the wrong reasons, people pleasing, and staying in toxic situations because I was always working overtime avoiding rejection.

But when I started to see rejection differently, I was able to make better choices.

What I learned was that people weren’t actually rejecting ME.

They might be rejecting the situation, or the offer, and in some cases they were just not able to be open minded or brave enough to say yes.

Other times they just weren’t in the right place or at the right time.

But it was never a straight up rejection. And their choice wasn’t a reflection of my worthiness like I used to believe.

I am worthy because I am human. That’s it. That’s all it takes for all of us. We are all worthy.

Some times we aren’t in full alignment with each other, but that doesn’t make us any less worthy.

Just for today move forward boldly without fear of rejection. You are worthy. Nobody else gets to decide that for you, so stop waiting for approval, or worrying about being rejected.

The universe has a hard time delivering to those who don’t ask. No for now doesn’t mean no forever. Things are always changing. Leave your fear of rejection behind you and build the life you want.

I’m not going to talk politics, because every time I do there is always someone who knows more than me and I end up in a conversation I can’t keep up with.

However, it’s been interesting to watch all of the people who are shocked and dismayed by Donald Trump and the things that come out of his mouth. Yet, I’ve heard many of those same sentiments come out of people’s mouths in a myriad of ways behind the scenes.

Generally speaking people expect more class from our leaders then we do from ourselves or from each other.

If we spent more time learning (and then becoming) what it takes to be a good human being, that might be a better use of our time than pointing out the ways in which someone else isn’t. Maybe we could get there faster, and maybe our children would pick it up easier.

Life isn’t always hard, but there are times that it feels really hard. There are times you win, and times you lose.

In the grand scheme of life, neither a win or a loss matter. But in the moment they do.

You want to find a win.

When we are completely honest with ourselves we begin to notice the struggles of being a human, and of the limitations that come with being human.

We might feel like we need to be more, do more, give more, and offer more.

We could feel like we aren’t worthy of “having it all”.

We might feel like we aren’t significant and that our voice do don’t matter.

We might think we aren’t capable or competent.

The little voice pops up every once in a while that makes us doubt ourselves and our abilities.

In order to carry forward in spite of the mind games that pop up, it helps to put yourself in a position to win.

Small wins over time lead to the big wins and they are the stepping stones.

They give you momentum, keep you moving forward, and most importantly, small wins make you feel like you are capable and that you can do the thing.

Always set yourself up to win, and feel good about it when you do.

But one piece of warning… don’t lose your humility because you’ve won.

Don’t get carried away and start believing that you’re “there”, because in all honesty…. you never get there. As soon as you think you’re there, you will be humbled.

Stay humble.

Be a student.

Continue to learn.

Wins are about building your confidence, not your trophy chest. Stack them up, but understand that they are momentary.

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Too many choices can paralyze us. If it all looks good, or it all looks bad we can’t sort out what we want.

When someone flips a coin to help you choose, you immediately know which choice you actually wanted in the first place.

Take away your options and what you really want becomes more clear.

You can change your mind after you start, but if you don’t choose, you don’t go anywhere.

Short term thinking is easier than playing the long game.

Short term thinking is reactive and responsive to what is happening right now.

But it’s hardly ever the best solution.

When you understand that what is happening right now might be an uncoupling, or a misunderstanding, or a necessary evil for the grand scheme… its easier to accept.

You can’t play the long game without a master plan. And once you have a master plan, you will begin to get a feel for what needs to handled in the now, and what you need to ride through like a slurpee headache.

The long game is where the magic happens. You don’t give up on the long game, you just keep trying new angles, new tactics, and allow things to unfold.

I wish someone had explained all of this to me in twenties when I thought I knew it all. Because I didn’t realize how the long game worked.

Fear takes a back seat in the long game, and faith and trust and grit and tenacity take over. That’s a good thing. You never want fear in the drivers seat.

The long game isn’t easy… it requires a lot of work on the inside – but it is far and away the most rewarding.

Creation happens in the unknown.

If we are creating what we already know – then its not creation, its repeating the past.

You might link 2 ideas together, expand on an old idea, or imagine what could be based on what you already know, but in order to do something that you haven’t done before, you need to learn how to hang out in the land of the unknown.

But we hold ourselves back because we think we already know.

“Its not what you don’t know that gets you in trouble, its what you know for sure that just ain’t so” ~ Mark Twain.

Questioning everything.  Assume you know nothing and see what happens.

You don’t actually know how your people will react when you give them the news, but you think you do

You don’t actually know how the Universe will respond when you learn to say no to what isn’t serving you, but you think you do.

You don’t actually know what will happen if you speak your truth.

You think you know…

You tell yourself a story about it…

But you don’t actually know.

And if the thing you think will happen actually does happen, what will you do about it?  Do you know what happens if you find a new way, a better way, or if you try again.

You create your life in the land of the mystical places where things are unknown, using a new story, and new faith, and new expectations, and the commitment to see it through and see what happens.

Life is an experiment, but you have to commit to being a scientist in order to make a breakthrough.